#LOVENot Questions

Whenever February rolls in and I happen to be single, I steer clear from all the lovey dovey stuff and distract myself with the Art Month.  However, this time around, despite being single, I'll take the plunge and write something personal and deals with the matters of the heart.

My friend who is part of Sipat Lawin Ensemble's "LOVE: This is Not Yet a Musical The Second Time Around" or LoveNot asked me these three questions that I opt to answer in this blog entry instead.
  1. What is love?
  2. What is NOT love? (If #1 is love what is NOT?)
  3. What's your current state in love? (or something like that.. ha!)
So, what is love?  That IS the question!  We are surrounded with multiple and various definition.  Although, I believe that each one of us personally has one definition of love that they hold on to or at least believe in.  For almost 30 years of existence, I have come up with my own personal definition.  Love, for me, is the force, the reason, that makes you decide, choose and act selflessly and makes you feel that what you've decided or chosen or did, too good, to be almost selfish.  So, acting selflessly, without that good feeling, be it happiness or fulfilment or what have you, could be born out of obligation or any other reason, but not love.. So, I guess, on to the next question.

What is NOT love?  PETA's ArtZone got it right.  Love does not hurt.  Thus, with this question, keeping my definition of love in mind, it is not love when you decide, choose or do something that you know, or obviously, would cause another person hurt, physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically and in any other way possible.  Yes, we are not perfect and we still make mistakes, but we don't really consciously do that, unless, you're evil.  So, there are times that we still say sorry, because we didn't think or know that what we are deciding, choosing or doing would hurt the person we love.  So, Erich Segal, we can say sorry.  I guess, once you "forget" that person you say or think you love, and start deciding, choosing and acting, without that person in mind, naaaahh.. that's not love, my friend.  Andrew Lloyd Webber got it right when he asked that you, "Think of Me."

Now, to the third question.  The toughest one for me to answer, more so, write.  Stephen Chbosky was correct all along.  "We accept the love we think we deserve."  I didn't really believe it the first time.  I was in denial for sometime, and then, when you start loving and knowing who you really are, you would then know, that yeah, we accept the love we think we deserve.  Or in other words, we say no to those that we don't deserve.  Being around the block for almost three decades now, have taught me a whole lot.  I'm just grateful that I get to survive and learn.  So, what's my current state in love?  I already know what I want and what I need.  Some may say that at my age I don't have the right to be choosy, but I know the love that I deserve, and I won't settle for anything less.  I also know the love that I'm capable of giving.  I know how far I can go and with the right person, I can give as much and most probably even more.  I can say that I'm ready to fall in love again, with the right person that is.  With all the things I've been through, I already know what I want, what I deserve and how much love I can give.  So, no more guessing, no more instability, because, now, I know.  Don't get me wrong though, I'm not in any way in a hurry.  Hey, I'm not really what you can say looking.  I just want it to come naturally.  I know what I want and second rate just won't settle it.  Besides, we're talking about the rest of my life here.  I already had my share of "right now's" or "for now's", so, yeah.  I like where I am right now in terms of love, even if I'm single, because I know how to love myself and I know how to love others.

Whew!  Done answering the questions unscathed.  Because if there's one other thing falling in love and loving taught me, it doesn't kill us, it makes us.. yeah, stronger.

Get to learn more and experience love with Sipat Lawin Ensemble in "LOVE: Not Yet A Musical, the Second Time Around" that runs throughout the last two weekends of February.  You may contact +63 917 500 8753 or email lovenotyetamusical@gmail.com for ticket reservations and more inquiries.  You may find love at Erehwon Theatre at 1 Don Francisco St., Villa Beatriz, Matandang Balara, Quezon City

Stay LOVEly!

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Laarni Lopez

Your oblivious but observing blogger.

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